There have been many times in my life when I’ve struggled with who I am. Paced for hours trying to put my finger on the item that does not fit. My struggles have been painful processes of pulling out who I am at my core; ripping it alway from who I want to be for acceptance.
With work, one day I fell in love with the person inside. All her quirkiness and craziness. I accepted that I like kick-boxing, running, quilting and wearing a dress. I found that I like me.
My transition was within a simplistic boundary, although difficult for me, easily attainable with personal restructuring.
What if I had found that my core, my soul, was that of a different gender. I am not talking sexuality, but gender.
Transgender individuals know, you can not just change your outfit or your hair. It is a feeling from within that pushes you into a perpetual state of cycling. A constant feeling of being dishonest to yourself and to others. Wondering if they knew, would they still love you? Do they see the real you? Until even the fear of people knowing is not as great as the fear of living one more day trapped. Stuck within yourself and your body.
* Be at peace with who you are in the moment. Hating the person on the inside or out can only lead to solutions that fit other people… not you.
* Transitioning is a process and self-care is very important, so make sure you are working with someone who keeps your focus on mental care and learning how to self nurture.
* As you start you HRT make sure that you are documenting things or actions that you do differently that you like. Learn who you are going to be when your outsides and insides match. You have spent a lot of time not liking who you are, relish the time to fall in love with yourself!
* Be clear on ‘self’ and how the transition is to go, it is for you, so protect yourself with knowledge.
Transitioning does not have a short cut, be ready to love YOU through this beautiful merging of self!
Melinda Porter MA