Welcome to MCP Counseling

Nice to have you visit the page! We are in the middle of combining websites.

My name is Melinda, I apologize  for the delay but will be posting again soon!

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Did I. “Mother’s Day Thoughts”

As we move through the days of the weeks in the months of the year that might be the most important year of ‘their’ lives, we stop and ask ourselves; DID I?

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Good Morning Moms,

On this Mother’s Day I wanted to say thank you for helping your children grow up mentally healthy.

Reaching this goal is like climbing a mountain that has moving rocks; you never know what will be the step that causes them to tumble and start over.

They still have to climb it; bumps, cuts and fear will be there, but so will you.

Teaching them how to be mentally healthy is a challenge because we sometimes question ourselves; so how do you pass it on?

DID I: Demonstrate, not just say, that my love is unconditional.

DID I: Teach them how to build or get their own tools/skills needed for life.

DID I: Pass on a skills set, one that enables them to deal with bumps, cuts and fear.

DID I: Provide a map, EVEN IF they never want to look at it, for them to take the least painful path. Regardless of their choice, you redirect continuously as they go on their way.

DID I: Allow them to build their own muscles for survival without dropping the parental role I feel honored, most days, to hold.

DID I: Remember to care for myself as I am the security of their tomorrow.

Does this sound exhausting ? Still, you do it everyday.

Thank you.

 

Thoughts in a day: Transgender Teens

df7c489bed150386371a0988ac458763Climbing out of her bed to dress, the thoughts of school and friends rush around on top of goals, workouts, chores and clothes. Moments after rising she moves past the mirror and freezes. Her body is not a “her” but a “him.” Her day will not be filled with thoughts of what to get done or how to dress to express who she is. Instead, she looks for the outfit that hides the most; covering all the imperfections that she cannot workout to fix and study harder to change. She cannot dig herself out of her gender as one whom from poverty. Stuck. She sits. Looking in a mirror that keeps changing into what she does understand. Being asked to live a life that does not fit what is under her skin.

A yell comes from down stairs and now a girl who got up before it was time excited about her day, stands as a boy frozen in confusion and fear. The ‘late to school’ conversation that happens everyday starts as HE hits the bottom stair. His head fills with all the things he will have to do today. His conversations with friends that might not be friends ‘if they knew’ about the her that he is not suppose to discuss. He starts to question all his relationships, wondering if any are real. Isolating in his head and fearing to truly care about others he learns that self is the only person to trust and worry about. Moving from one class to another where they ask the boys and girls to separate for seating, restrooms, activities, sports, and/or games. Where does the Transgender teen stand? Where does she/ he fit in?

Transgender teens are being asked to ‘sit at the back of the bus’ and do as you are told. Where does it stop? Conform to societies standards of male/female. If your genitals determine who you are, what do we do with the intersex person? When do they get to move to the front and claim they are worth being respected? I work with teens that smile when for a moment in time they are seen from the inside out. Peace and respect sits with them as they talk and joy fills their face when their correct pronoun is used.

Just one. Condemning. Reaffirming. Little. Big. Powerful. Painful. Joyful. Word. 

He returns home, head down and moving on to homework. Then SHE smiles. In her room, she is real. She fits just fine into the clothes only she ever sees. She studies in the hat that makes her hair look longer. The words, the math is all making sense with room in her head. She draws hearts and a smiley to remember the steps to complete the problems.

In her room she is comfortable and safe for now. She knows the sadness that will come tomorrow when HE must return to the breakfast table and to school.

Parents. Friends. Counselors.

Read and learn about the transgender teen in your life. If you have questions, ask them, together is when family is the most effective.

I work with the LGBTQIA community and would be happy to help with questions or a direction for you to go in.

Melinda C. Porter, LPC

Melinda@mcpcounseling.com

817-733-7206

www.mcpcounseling.com

Blotted OUT.

Have you ever been in the middle of life just living your story and you get Blotted OUT.

Your next line is being written by the others that you don’t know but hold a power over you.

256x256_fit_one_bestfit_6In the LGBTQ community this is an everyday issue.

* I need to see my wife in the hospital. (Sorry, only legal family)

* Cancer hit our family and we could not do adoption until next year. (Sorry, the child is not yours)

* He is violent and I need to get a divorce. (Sorry, we don’t do divorces for your type in this state.)

* I would like to work in this office. (Sorry, we met your other half and we just don’t think that is a good fit for us.)

* This is a beautiful home! (Sorry, you said you would both be on the lease. Sisters correct?)

* My preferred pronoun is… (Sorry, what is in your pants is all I care about.)

Any of those and A million more spin in my head everyday as I move through my personal and professional life.

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I wonder who will decide if my marriage is important.

What law will tell my love that she can not be with me in a hospital room

or answer questions about the house we call home.

Will my life be blotted OUT of the family line.

My love, that is what will be erased, with smears of ink or puddles of white out.

The stories of how I found myself and then found someone that loved me.

The pains of trying to follow in other’s rigid footsteps.

The self destruction that lead to ENOUGH.

I was done. I love who I love. That is the story that is under your BLOT.

That is . She is. I am. What makes me smile and my heart sing.

Today I am creating a story of life. I wonder who will decide it is not.

Bloggin’ About It.

IMG_20150122_113939This blog is designed for information, thoughts or questions that come up about life. Children, teens and adults all work to get through to the next thing; what if we stopped long enough to be present in this moment. How would our worlds line up for us if we were not always spending today dreaming of tomorrow and fearful of yesterday.

By

Melinda C. Porter, LPC

http://www.MCPcounseling.com

817-733-7206