Walking on Super Glue

You can. #Claim2Day

Gracie's Thought Garden

The year is 3028.

“Grandma!” My granddaughter comes running up to my holographic knitting table. (It may be far in the future, but knitting will forever be a relevant old lady activity.)

“Oh,” my frail voice calls to the child, “yes dear?”

“Do you remember when you used to write blogs!”

I freeze at the remembrance of my old hobby. The rush of memories of creativity pouring from the pad of my fingers all comes back to me. I stare longingly out of the window, overlooking the flying buildings and floating land masses we all live on – again, in the future.

“Why ‘blogging’ – I haven’t heard of that in so, so long.”

•••

Wow, that was a super roundabout way to mention that I have been gone for a while. In all honesty, I could go on and on about how I had ‘finals’ and was trying to…

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Can We ‘Fix Society’ Without More Death

The deaths of transgender teens are continuing to go in the wrong direction. I work with teens that are questioning their gender, wanting information about transitioning or needing direction on how to wait until they are old enough to transition. They battle social sets of fitting in; not just with clothes, personality, music, or age as most teens deal with but with GENDER.

 Which bathroom? Which outfit? Which team? Which dressing room?

 What if I fit into both genders or none????

 The desire to fit or to understand one’s self is what every teen deals with but we ask these kids to not explore that question. It is too weird or uncomfortable.  The messaging to these kids is you can think it and we can talk about it later but if you feel the need to say something or not wear what is fitting for your gender; we have a problem.

Transgender teens struggle with being able to do day-to-day activities because they can not get past the basics in their head.

8baf68e2ee56c2df1fc47f767219a225What am I???

 When parents and friends ask you to ignore who your head announces you are, it seems confusing. What are the guidelines to be who they want you to be? When a teen admits they do not know who they are in their own skin how are they to be someone they are SURE that they are not? Confused?

 Welcome to the world of gender questions.

 Tiptoeing around the question of gender is like tiptoeing around where people belonged on the bus. Maybe gender is becoming less of an issue in the younger generation. Years ago we decided that women could wear pants. Today we face can men wear a dress? Why is the reverse less important?

Healthy relationships are respectful and built on increased communications. It might not be the conversation you had hope to have with your child, but like sex, drugs, boyfriends, girlfriends, college, make-up, money or cars; gender is one we can not be afraid of. If you run from the conversation our teens suffer. Our teens make decision alone and from a place of understanding only at a cognitive ability of a teen.

 As adults, parents, or counselors we have to step just past our personal comfort zones.

 Much Respect,

Melinda C. Porter, LPC

817-733-7206

Melinda@MelindaPorter.com

Melinda@mcpcounseling.com

Transgender Children

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Do you know the gender or the assigned sex of this child? Is there a difference in those?

Years ago I thought babies were born male or female.  I’ve learned over my life time that this is not the case.  A group called, “Gender Infinity” is doing an excellence job of educating  therapists and parents about what gender really means. I visited one of their conferences this week and am overflowing with information.

Gender Diverse children can also be referred to as gender non-conforming. Gender non-conforming children are gifted with an innocence in their processing; to them they can only be who they sense they are. Some feel they are internally different then the external picture, expressing a cross-gender identity. Can it be that simple?  It is when we, as their support system, confirm with actions of rejection or acceptance  that they connect the meaning of right or wrong. We create the environment for them to explore life in.

It is common for transgender children to come out as Lesbian, gay, or bisexual first trying to find the fit that they need. Many times feeling that the hair and clothes change is good but not enough. Hormone blockers are sometime used in pre-puberty to allow the child time to process what gender they are and avoid some possible future surgeries. Most people at this point just loss their breathe; it is ok!

These are REVERSIBLE. It simply pauses the onset.

I have worked with children for years now and knowing that they have the possibility to be comfortable in their own skin from the beginning is incredible!

As I learn, I will pass on the information! If you have time, look up the Group Gender Infinity~They are crazy wonderful! I’m here to help if you need more information.

We stand in the moment of our potential to move forward and ability to understand~ 

Much Respect,

Melinda C. Porter

Transition into self~ Transgender

There have been many times in my life when I’ve struggled with who I am. Paced for hours trying to put my finger on the item that does not fit. My struggles have been painful processes of pulling out who I am at my core; ripping it alway from who I want to be for acceptance.

With work, one day I fell in love with the person inside. All her quirkiness and craziness. I accepted that I like kick-boxing, running, quilting and  wearing a dress. I found that I like me.

My transition was within a simplistic boundary, although difficult for me, easily attainable with personal restructuring.

What if I had found that my core, my soul, was that of a different gender. I am not talking sexuality, but gender.

Within these people I see the truest of strength. tree rainbow

Transgender individuals know, you can not just change your outfit or your hair. It is a feeling from within that pushes you into a perpetual state of cycling. A constant feeling of being dishonest to yourself and to others. Wondering if they knew, would they still love you?  Do they see the real you? Until even the fear of people knowing is not as great as the fear of living one more day trapped. Stuck within yourself and your body.

Thoughts:

* Be at peace with who you are in the moment. Hating the person on the inside or out can only lead to solutions that fit other people… not you.

* Transitioning is a process and self-care is very important, so make sure you are working with someone who keeps your focus on mental care and learning how to self nurture.

* As you start you HRT make sure that you are documenting things or actions that you do differently that you like. Learn who you are going to be when your outsides and insides match. You have spent a lot of time not liking who you are, relish the time to fall in love with yourself!

* Be clear on ‘self’ and how the transition is to go, it is for you, so protect yourself with knowledge.

Transitioning does not have a short cut, be ready to love YOU through this beautiful merging of self!

Best Wishes,

Melinda Porter MA