What Does a LGBT Person Look Like?

How do you see yourself?

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What pair of eyes do you use to determine who you are?

With all that is going on in the LGBT community, I ask, how do you see yourself. What does it mean to you that in some countries, even a tourist can be arrested for being openly gay or how do you deal with legal issue about marriage from state to state in the USA. Over the decades, the world ebbs and flows, looking at one thing and seeing something different. History shows, we as the human race are continually redefining the understanding of what freedom is. Questioning why color, sex, sexual orientation, or shade of your hair has so much power. At the end of the day, what does a LGBT person look like?

Horns, pink, blue, worthwhile, sweet, mean, fem, butch, ugly, beautiful? When you look in the mirror, who do you see?

There is a person in there, in that face that looks back at you in the mirror. A being that holds the power to personal understanding and growth.

Strength, flexibility, patience…that is what I see! How many years did you live knowing the secret but told no one? How many uncomfortable situations where you placed in because of your sexuality ? How long have you waited to fall in love?

Find your you. What do you want in your life? YOU get to decide what a LGBT person looks like! If you are tired of living in fear of not fitting in, know that everyone does not fit somewhere~ so find your fit.

Some Thoughts to move you forward~

* Enjoy the places that work for you.

* Create your ‘self’ not as one single dimension but as you, wonderful from the inside out, not just a person that has a different sexual orientation.

* Start seeing the peace within yourself, there is enough to worry about in other systems that will be effecting you. Make seeking out peace for the inside a priority.

Much Respect,

Melinda Porter

Best Hopes for Today? LGBT Couples

Simply stated and incredibly breathtaking what that question can evoke.

I have seen it invite 50 minutes of couples falling back in love. I strive to offer my clients this empowering starting point!

As they sit in apprehension of changing something that looks so broken; I see the POSSIBILITIES. In a LGBT relationship the support might look different from heterosexual friends. I see one of the most difficult challenges of the LGBT community as having problems. Many times when a problem arises family members, work connections, or others who might not see the relationship as real are quick to only see one best hope. Letting it go.  Over coming issues  as a couple is hard enough, add same-sex and you have to be extra diligent about nurturing the connection between partners.

What are you willing to see as possible?

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~ When I ask this, the responsibility is placed with the client. WHAT? They are responsible. Yes. As a counselor, I can not make you want to be willing. I can help you find the strengths and solutions that you ALREADY possess and build on them.

~ LGBT clients have already overcome so much. Learning to love the true person they are! A willingness to see the impossible as possible. I see this as strength and building blocks to help structure your relationship’s foundation.

~ Same-Sex relationships, many times, have to provide their own stability in the middle of an issue. They have to depend on their own commitment to the relationship when the outside world does not recognize them as a couple. This can keep them in the problem instead of moving into the solution. Find healthy support!

~ When couples are isolated, as often will happen with the LGBT community; seeing ‘possible’ can be clouded and frustrating. I work to pull the solutions from the past into the present and future!

What are your best hopes for today?

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Much Respect,

Melinda Porter MA

Transition into self~ Transgender

There have been many times in my life when I’ve struggled with who I am. Paced for hours trying to put my finger on the item that does not fit. My struggles have been painful processes of pulling out who I am at my core; ripping it alway from who I want to be for acceptance.

With work, one day I fell in love with the person inside. All her quirkiness and craziness. I accepted that I like kick-boxing, running, quilting and  wearing a dress. I found that I like me.

My transition was within a simplistic boundary, although difficult for me, easily attainable with personal restructuring.

What if I had found that my core, my soul, was that of a different gender. I am not talking sexuality, but gender.

Within these people I see the truest of strength. tree rainbow

Transgender individuals know, you can not just change your outfit or your hair. It is a feeling from within that pushes you into a perpetual state of cycling. A constant feeling of being dishonest to yourself and to others. Wondering if they knew, would they still love you?  Do they see the real you? Until even the fear of people knowing is not as great as the fear of living one more day trapped. Stuck within yourself and your body.

Thoughts:

* Be at peace with who you are in the moment. Hating the person on the inside or out can only lead to solutions that fit other people… not you.

* Transitioning is a process and self-care is very important, so make sure you are working with someone who keeps your focus on mental care and learning how to self nurture.

* As you start you HRT make sure that you are documenting things or actions that you do differently that you like. Learn who you are going to be when your outsides and insides match. You have spent a lot of time not liking who you are, relish the time to fall in love with yourself!

* Be clear on ‘self’ and how the transition is to go, it is for you, so protect yourself with knowledge.

Transitioning does not have a short cut, be ready to love YOU through this beautiful merging of self!

Best Wishes,

Melinda Porter MA